Yesterday I posted “Only You Have the Power to Change Your Mindset.” Today my post is about changing your mindset with regards to regret.
I hold myself to pretty high standards. I set a course of action in my head and attempt to always follow through. However, I’m human and I don’t always get everything that I want to get done, done. Before, my coping mechanism was to procrastinate, like procrastinating would make the problem go away. Unfortunately, all procrastination does is build up the problem and create regret. Although I still struggle with regret and struggle with using procrastination as a coping mechanism, I have developed a few habits to overcome the feeling. They all start with the power of thought and an optimistic mindset.
Live for Today – Be a Stoic
No matter the decisions you made, or the person you were, yesterday, it doesn’t matter. You can’t change who you were yesterday. You can’t go back in time and change the decisions you made. The only thing you can do is change your actions going forward. Instead of regretting things from your past, forget about them and take actionable steps forward today.
My mindset of “live for today” has a heavy influence from Stoicism. A basic principle from the Stoics is you are the only one in control of your life. No matter the rights, or wrongs, that have befallen you, only you can make the changes you want to see. One of their methods to making these changes is by living in today. This helps you define what you need to accomplish in order to feel good about your future self. It’s an extremely important lesson in mitigating regret.
Create a Plan (for Today and Tomorrow)
Ideally, we’d all have five-year plans mapped out with every detail, down to a checklist for every single day (“If I knock off all my checks for this five-year plan I’ll be a huge success!”). Unfortunately, life is too random to create such a detailed planned. Instead, we should settle for the next best option: creating a plan for today, and tomorrow.
I like to spend my wee-hours of the morning in planning for my today and tomorrow. I try to map out the future in my head and determine which tasks I can get done today to inch me closer to that place.
Not only is this a successful habit, but it also keeps me from getting too regretful. A lot of times my regret builds up over time if I let things sit for too long. Having a one or two day plan lets me focus on the things that matter most, and if something doesn’t get done for a while I know either a) to remove it from the to-do list or b) I definitely need to get it done.
Let Regret Go
At the end of the day, we aren’t machines. We can’t endlessly (and mindlessly) accomplish everything we want. Sometimes we think we can cure cancer, poverty, and world hunger with all of our hard work, but we can’t. No matter how hard we try we can only accomplish so much. Instead of focusing on the stuff we can’t finish, we need to focus on finishing the stuff we can to the best of our ability.
Eventually, trying our hardwork will pay its dividend. Even if it means not getting to things, we shouldn’t regret it. Each day that we take a step forward is a day closer to our end goal. Each day we fall flat on our face is another day to learn from and to try not to replicate. Either way, we must let each day go and not regret our decisions. What we do shapes our future, but it shouldn’t shape our mindsets. Let regret go.
Parting Words
If you’re like me and have a hard time getting out of your own head then I urge you to try things that limit regret. It’s easier said than done, and I have a hard time with it (still), but there are ways to mitigate regret. Once you start taking small steps it gets easier. You have the power to change your mindset for the better and you have the power to deal with regret.