I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the person I want to become. A lot of times I have absolutely no clue but there are certain things I want in my life. For one, happiness. I want to be happy to wake up every morning no matter my circumstances. Two, I don’t want to spend my time around people who aren’t making it better. Call me selfish, but as I grow older I realize I only have so much time to make an impact on the world. I don’t want to waste time around people who won’t make me better. The last thing I want in my life is to forgive whatever is outside of my control.
As someone who is big on processes, systems, efficiencies and doing things the “right” way, it’s always been hard for me to let go of what I can’t control. Back when Amazon didn’t have two-day shipping (yes, I’m old enough to remember those days) I used to go crazy waiting for a package to arrive. The anticipation was always greater than whatever was in the box. I always wanted whatever it was, right away. And I wanted it to meet my expectations.
In life, you’ll meet tons of people and opportunities that don’t meet your expectations. You’ll think you’re finding the perfect thing for yourself but really you’re teasing yourself with anticipation. No person, no opportunity, will ever make you whole. The only way to make yourself whole is by forgiving the outside world. The world didn’t make you the way you are. Your brain did. Both biologically and through your upbringing.
By focusing on the things you control, and forgiving others for actions that don’t match your expectations/anticipation, you gain self-control. You gain self-confidence. What I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is I am my own catalyst of making my life what I want it to be. And using my time to take control of my life is what will lead to success. Other people’s actions shall not have an impact on my perception of success.