A few summers ago I could be found on my friends back porch, alone after everyone had gone to sleep, drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels, listening to bluegrass with tears trickling down my cheek. I was depressed. I am not sure if I knew I was depressed at the time, but looking back at it, that’s the only explanation. I had lost my way, and didn’t know my path forward. Instead of coming up with solutions, I decided to drink. It was a downward spiral that I knew wasn’t okay, but I continued to do it anyway. And then I left it all behind.
First Step in my Journey
My first step towards self-belief was my trip across the country. I visited Austin, Denver, San Diego, Portland and Seattle, and I said good riddance to the life I had been living in Northern Virginia. On this trip I was mostly on my own. Although not a foreign country, it’s still hard to find “your place” in other cities. Developing rapport with people on my trip was essential to my experience, and my development of self-belief.
Talking to others, and having engaging conversation, isn’t always easy. Especially when you aren’t glowing with confidence. Being able to step out of my comfort zone to talk with random people was a definite step forward. Although I’m still an introvert, I developed self-belief in my ability to hold a conversation with someone.
Traveling away from the place I had grown accustomed to, and which drove me to alcohol consumption, was a huge turning point in my life.
Teaching Myself
Once I was settled in Denver I was still not much better. I had a bit more confidence because of my travels, but running from my problems was not enough. I still had some bouts with alcohol, and had a few less-than-great experiences. After my first Denver job fizzled I reached a turning point. I started to think, to read, to look for cool things happening in the world. I developed good habits, habits unattainable via alcohol, and I turned my mind into a wonderland. Building castles in the sky.
Somewhere on the journey, I can’t pinpoint where, I taught myself how to have self-belief in my abilities, and the person I wanted to become. It was a combination of many things happening in my life, but however the puzzle was put together, I am grateful it did.
Self-Belief Mindset
When I talk about self-belief I am talking about believing you are capable, and confident enough, to dream and accomplish those dreams. For the 24-year old me who was drinking Jack while crying, I didn’t even have dreams. Now, I have a whole bunch. I dream of projects I want to create, businesses I want to build, and the person I want to become. But it all starts with the person I am.
The person I am today is very confident in my own abilities. I believe I can do anything I put my mind to. Gaining control of my mind, for good (not drunkenness), has been so beneficial in me creating my self-belief and confidence.