“What do you do?” The dreaded question that is bound to come up at any networking event, party, or when meeting new people. I dread this question. I think a lot of people do too. But we all seem to ask it without hesitation. It’s the universal go-to question. It was far more prevalent while living in Washing D.C., but it still gets asked far more than I’d
Looking Inward
Over the last few months I’ve been looking inward often. Probably part of my Stoicism reading. I take situations and try to get to the core of my feelings. If something makes me angry I ask why. If something makes me excited I again ask why. One of my recent feelings was a feeling of confidence, of self-worth. Again, I asked myself why. Why do I feel my self-worth rise? What is the story behind it? Why is this important?
My most recent self-worth feeling was being able to finish above-average on some tests I was taking. It was the first time in a while I received objective confirmation that I was actually pretty good at what I thought I was good at. I immediately felt my self-worth levels rising. Why, I asked? I believe this “why” was from an understanding that a lot of our projections of ourselves come from the question “What do you do?”
Like a Filing Cabinet
We live in a society that judges based on superficial standards. What do you do is such a pervasive question because it allows us to pigeon hole people into a place in our minds. It allows us to put a tag on you, file you away, and move on with the conversation, knowing exactly where your file is located.
This filing system also infiltrates our mind. When you tell someone “I’m a marketer” everyone assumes a sleazy salesman, and in your mind your role as marketer takes a hit. I know marketers who aren’t sleazy people. I read a lot of copywriter’s materials, they are far from sleazy. But they’ve developed self-worth in spite of the marketer stereotype.
Living For You
Knowing the anxiety “What do you do?” causes for me has changed the way I approach the question. I try to ask something along the lines of “What makes you tick?” or “What hobbies are you pursuing?” This turns the question on it’s head. It validates what someone is passionate about and doesn’t pigeon hole someone into an industry, a job, or a predetermined stereotype.
Your self-worth isn’t validated by the type of job you hold, the house you live in, or the car you drive. No, your self-worth is validated by what makes you tick, the essence of being alive. Next time someone asks “What do you do?” exclaim what makes you come alive. I promise they’ll be blown away.