Tackling Resistance

Habit formation takes anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Even if you go 30 straight days building a good habit, one off day can lead to failure. Mentally, this is from resistance. Our mind gets in the way of us getting back on track.

One thing I’ve learned from blogging is that you have to tackle resistance head on, no matter how out of kilter your habits have become. 

I spent the fourth of July weekend in the mountains. Away from civilization and away from the internet. I could’ve blogged on a notepad each day but instead I turned all of my habits off. I let myself be immersed by nature and enjoyed being around wildlife. Although I shut off my habits for the trip, I promised myself I would blog when I was back. Well, today I am back at it, tackling resistance.

Blogging Daily Changed Me

There is something so satisfying about taking the junk swirling through my head and turning it into words, sentences, paragraphs and posts. Each time I do it, I get a sense of achievement. Not because it’s good writing or an amazing topic, but because I take my thoughts and turn them into something tangible.

I’ve started personal journaling too (thanks Taylor Pearson). Every morning I write three things I’m grateful for, a thing I want to accomplish and one thing I believe. At night, I write three wins (accomplishments), one lesson I learned and how I can apply it, and one thing that’ll make my week easier. Combining blogging with this habit makes me accomplish even more.

Not only do I have to hold myself accountable to blogging daily, I also have to make sure I made three wins. Doing those four things each day will add up. As Bill Gates says “We overestimate how much we can accomplish in 10 years but underestimate how much we can accomplish in one year.”

I’m not sure the direction I’m headed, or the path I’m going to take, but I know if I accomplished four things every day, and learn from my lessons, I will be better each and every day. 

As for blogging daily, I’m about to go on a mountain camping trip for the next four days and completely disconnecting. I’ll be back next week.

Off Day? Accomplish Something

Even if you’re not at the top of your game, try accomplishing something to the best of your ability. That doesn’t mean doing something difficult, it means doing something productive and doing it well.

Today, I had a sub-par (at least for my standards) day. I didn’t feel like I accomplished anything. But I had a bunch to get off my checklist. So I tackled a smaller project that I knew would make my future self happy. I cleaned my apartment. And I didn’t just scrub for a minute or two, I completely cleaned every corner for over two hours. Each time I finished a small chore, I asked myself “is this the best I can do?” And each time the answer was “No, I can do more.” 

After two plus hours of scrubbing, spraying and wiping, my apartment looks great. My new roommate will be happy! 

Stoic Trainings

Stoicism is a trained mindset allowing one to become at peace with anything that happens in life. If one puts their best foot forward, it doesn’t matter if one wins or one loses. There’s a great cartoon of Stoics competing in track and field. The Stoics high-five each other and jump for joy after every event, even when they didn’t win. The other team is baffled, they think the Stoics are insane. But the Stoics aren’t. They’re happy they did the best they could.

Unlocking this Stoic sense of pride is easier said than done. Training yourself to be happy with any outcome is difficult. Training yourself to be your best at whatever you put your mind to is even harder. The best way you can do that is by doing stuff well even on off days. 

By doing accomplishing your goals to the best of your ability, your mind gets used to the tasks required to be great. Over time, this feeling becomes natural and every task you take on becomes something to take Stoic pride in.

You’re the Average of the 5 People You’re Around the Most

Even though you’re the average of the five people you’re around the most, that doesn’t mean you need new friends. Today, from the power of the internet, I’ve communicated with people across the globe, listened to podcasts of people from all over the world, and have read blog posts from many authors all over the world. And it’s only 7:30 am.

By reading, listening, and interacting with people all over the world, I’ve surrounded myself with thought leaders, peers, and great thinkers all from my phone. The power to improve yourself is in the hands of 2.5 billion people.

Friends of Do-ers

I have written before about having few Facebook friends. A hidden benefit of that is when I login to my account I only see posts from peers who are doing a lot of stuff. They provide me a friend group, without meeting many in person, that I could never have cultivated 5-7 years ago.

The people I follow are all striving for a better tomorrow: Growing their businesses and creating change in the world. When you surround yourself, even if only virtually, with people doing impressive stuff everyday, it’s hard not to join them. Becoming the average of the five people I follow, read, and listen to would make me a high level doer.

Not using the tools at hand, like the power of the internet, to better yourself, will keep you from becoming the person you want to become. Make some virtual do-er friends!

Don’t Be the Victim, Take Responsibility

The following two quotes are from guys I’ve gotten to know through the power of the internet. Both of them are extremely motivated and do a lot of different things. Both of them have very similar mindsets. These quotes summarize my feelings right now.

With anything in life, you always have three options: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it.

The majority of discontent in life comes from not taking the responsibility to choose one of these options. –Kylon Geinger

Even when you have a deep understanding of yourself, there are many decisions in life that involve picking between imperfect options. Living with integrity in these situations is about making a choice and living with it. Not filling yourself with regret, or becoming a victim, but accepting your choices and learning from them when you don’t like the results. – Ryan Ferguson

We all make incorrect decisions. We all make correct decisions. No matter what decision we make, we must take responsibility for choosing the outcome. Even if we regret a decision, we cannot fill ourselves with it. We must live with the choice we made and live with integrity to get through it.

Wherever you are in your life, reminding yourself of these short passages can make a difference. Don’t be the victim. Take responsibility for your situation. And live with integrity. At the end of the day, the only person you have to satisfy is the one in the mirror.

Be Aware of Your Goals but Don’t Be Hard on Yourself

Common advice in the self-help world is to create goals to achieve and making those goals a reality on a daily basis. I agree with this mindest for the most part, however, achieving your goals is still long-term whereas happiness is mostly short-term. To me, there’s a disconnect between thinking in goals and achieving happiness.

Part of achieving goals is to be committed to the outcome and making decisions with those in mind. But if you’re not achieving everything on your goal checklist, the first thing to eliminate is being hard on yourself. Having an honest conversation with yourself is the better way in goal achievement strategy.

Instead of wondering why I didn’t achieve a goal I set for myself, I look into the factors in my life. Maybe I was traveling. Maybe I was committing myself to too many projects. Maybe my passion didn’t really follow the goals I had set for myself. Having an honest conversation of why I didn’t achieve goals that I set for myself is productive. Overthinking, and being g hard on myself, is the opposite.

Being hard on yourself about not achieving goals is teaching you to take on the victim mindset. You treat yourself as someone who could’ve achieved a goal had you done something different or if the circumstances differed. Instead of looking inward, you concot excuses for yourself.

My best way of staying out of the victim mindset is holding myself accountable for goals I want to achieve and having an internal dialouge about what’s working and what’s not and why. Although I set difficult goals for myself, I shouldn’t lose happiness when I come up short.

When Was the Last Time You Did Something Outside Your Comfort Bubble?

A Random Phone Call

A couple of days ago I picked up my phone for a number I didn’t recognize. This is something I very rarely do. For one, I was at work and busy getting work done, picking up the phone and talking with a stranger was the last thing I wanted to do. Also, why else would they have created voicemail? Anyway, I picked it up and it happened to be an account manager with Bill.com. I’m sure glad I stepped outside my comfort bubble.

We talked for an hour about the rewards of being an accountant, how to teach clients the importance of AP/AR tracking, and how to build a better business. After the phone call he emailed me with an exclamation and I immediately felt better about my direction.

It was random. It was something I don’t usually do. But stepping outside of my bubble brought a little pep to my step and made me feel good.

Traveling the Country as an Introvert

I’ve stepped outside of my comfort bubble many different times. The biggest step was when I traveled the US looking for a new city. I spent two months traveling to different places, meeting new people, talking with locals, and truly finding myself. Although I’m an introvert, and those two months were draining, that trip cemented my ability to step outside my comfort bubble and succeed. It’s how I ended up in Denver which had been everything I’ve hoped for.

By stepping outside of comfort I have found great rewards. Even if the thing keeping me inside my bubble causes me to overthink, I need to continue pursuing uncomfortable situations. For that is the only way I’ll grow into the person I desire to become.