Phil Garland

This morning I have been trying to put into words the journey my mind has taken the past two months, since quitting my job. I started jotting down notes, and came up with the title “Breaking Brainwash.” Although not as eloquent as some other euphemisms used to describe my mind’s journey, I liked the phrase as it was an alliteration similar to Breaking Bad. As I was putting together my thoughts I read an article by Dan Sanchez titled Self Discipline Must Be Selfish.

Dan’s article has allegories to George Orwell’s Animal Farm, likening our learned discipline to that of cattle. This quote stood out to me, “To achieve true self-discipline, you need an exorcism. You need to exorcise the ghosts of past taskmasters that are haunting your psyche. Your life’s endeavors need to become truly and deeply about you and for you.”

Authoritarian Brainwashing

Whether you call it an exorcism of past taskmasters, or breaking the brainwash of authoritarian society, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is putting your mind in a place to break these habits. Whether you were home-schooled, went through typical schooling, went to college or not, we all have been raised in an authoritarian society. Our habits have been formed not from ourselves, but an authoritarian overseer. We must find out what our brains really want in order to vanquish brainwash.

My Past Two Months

I was unemployed, by choice, in 2015 for a few months. I focused on things like Bitcoin, blockchain, and starting a Paleo diet. My last two months of unemployment have been something different. I have spent my time figuring myself out. What makes me tick? What doesn’t? What emotions am I feeling and why? These are questions that help me in breaking brainwash.

I have learned that a lot of my concerns aren’t actually concerning. I have a strong mind and I know how to use it for the stuff I want. My self-taught lessons have shown me that I have let society brainwash me into the person they want me to be. But I don’t want to be society’s person, I want to be my own person. Looking deep within myself, and my emotions, has opened me up to the person I want to be and started eliminating habits my brainwashed self believed.

Call it an epiphany moment, or an exorcism, call it anything you’d like, but I can tell you looking inside yourself will teach you many lessons. Knowing the the extent of society’s grips on your mind, coupled with inward looking, can lead you to an exorcised mind. Seeing clearly, and acting for yourself, are steps that keep you from being cattle, prodded by the farmer.

Sometimes the best step is a step back. To look for the reasons behind your actions before partaking in further actions. Consistently being intentional with your mindset helps in breaking brainwash, and living a life for you, not someone else.

“What do you do?” The dreaded question that is bound to come up at any networking event, party, or when meeting new people. I dread this question. I think a lot of people do too. But we all seem to ask it without hesitation. It’s the universal go-to question. It was far more prevalent while living in Washing D.C., but it still gets asked far more than I’d

Looking Inward

Over the last few months I’ve been looking inward often. Probably part of my Stoicism reading. I take situations and try to get to the core of my feelings. If something makes me angry I ask why. If something makes me excited I again ask why. One of my recent feelings was a feeling of confidence, of self-worth. Again, I asked myself why. Why do I feel my self-worth rise? What is the story behind it? Why is this important?

My most recent self-worth feeling was being able to finish above-average on some tests I was taking. It was the first time in a while I received objective confirmation that I was actually pretty good at what I thought I was good at. I immediately felt my self-worth levels rising. Why, I asked? I believe this “why” was from an understanding that a lot of our projections of ourselves come from the question “What do you do?”

Like a Filing Cabinet

We live in a society that judges based on superficial standards. What do you do is such a pervasive question because it allows us to pigeon hole people into a place in our minds. It allows us to put a tag on you, file you away, and move on with the conversation, knowing exactly where your file is located.

This filing system also infiltrates our mind. When you tell someone “I’m a marketer” everyone assumes a sleazy salesman, and in your mind your role as marketer takes a hit. I know marketers who aren’t sleazy people. I read a lot of copywriter’s materials, they are far from sleazy. But they’ve developed self-worth in spite of the marketer stereotype.

Living For You

Knowing the anxiety “What do you do?” causes for me has changed the way I approach the question. I try to ask something along the lines of “What makes you tick?” or “What hobbies are you pursuing?” This turns the question on it’s head. It validates what someone is passionate about and doesn’t pigeon hole someone into an industry, a job, or a predetermined stereotype.

Your self-worth isn’t validated by the type of job you hold, the house you live in, or the car you drive. No, your self-worth is validated by what makes you tick, the essence of being alive. Next time someone asks “What do you do?” exclaim what makes you come alive. I promise they’ll be blown away.

Look up articles on time management, or how to be productive, or habits of successful people. You’ll be inundated with hundreds, probably tens of thousands, of experts teaching the “10 Rules to Effective Time Management” or an article on successful people who follow their daily ritual each and everyday so you should too. My time management advice: relax.

Relaxing

I’ve always had a hard time with time management. I am good at getting tasks done, but when I have to schedule a bunch of my time for different tasks throughout the day I start getting stressed. Mathematically I have the time. Two hours here, three hours there, a few 30 minute projects, a couple breaks for food and leisure, and another hour long project. That’s a complete day.

But when I sit down for the first two hours my mind can’t help itself from thinking about projects 2, 3, 4… and how to get those done. Soon my two hour project becomes stressing on my other projects and nothing gets done.

Here’s where my advice comes in. Relax. Focus on the task at hand, do it to the best of my ability, and stop worrying about everything else. Once task number one has taken it’s necessary allotment of work, move onto task number two. Relaxing, and taking tasks one step at a time, is the only way to work through a pile of projects. Otherwise nothing gets done.

Gameplan

Relaxing isn’t the only thing I do. My other process is to create an effective gameplan. The gameplan helps put my mind at ease and let’s me relax while focusing on the task at hand.

I like to map out my time at least a few days in advance. Ideally I’d map out my large time goals 60 to 90-days in advance and work back from there, but sometimes far-off goals aren’t so easy. So, I at least try 2-3 days in advance.

Creating a gameplan of tasks I want completed, and the priority of completion, gives me confidence that what I’m spending time on now must be the most productive use of my time. Completing the highest priority, usually the hardest, task first, commonly referred to as eating the frog, is my first step. After that I plug away at my task list as best I can.

If I don’t complete everything on my task list, I relax. Stressing about what I could’ve done won’t improve anything. Instead, I focus my energy on planning for the next day, so I know what I need to do to propel myself forward. Taking a relaxed mentality is my secret to managing time.

Shit happens. Not everything will go your way. Are you going to sit their and mope or are you going to stand-up, throw some punches of your own, and make a fight out of it?

According to the Top Definition on Urban Dictionary roll with the punches means “When things don’t go your way and you adapt to the changes and keep moving ahead instead of flipin[sic?] out.”

Being adaptable, and flexible to predicaments, is a skill that we all need to master. For me, it’s not something that comes easy. I have always been above-average in almost everything I do, and almost always achieve above average results. Sometimes the cards don’t fall my way. I have to remember to roll with the punches instead of flipping out.

Benefit of Good Habits

Even when times are hard it’s important to stay true to the good habits you’ve spent time cultivating. Successful habits are the path to success whether you’re building upon a snowball of good fortune or find yourself under an avalanche of crap. There’s a reason why so many successes have also suffered huge failures. It’s not because they’re only capable of success, but because they took hardship as a learning experience instead of an indication of failure.

Charlie Shrem

Today I learned about a man named Charlie Shrem. He’s Bitcoin’s “first felon” as outlined by this CoinDesk article. Basically he was imprisoned for knowingly operating a Bitcoin exchange where some of the Bitcoin was used in black-market transactions.

He’s free from his jail sentence now, and instead of pouting about prison, he’s even more convinced blockchain, and Bitcoin, is the way forward. Seeing the mackerel trading market between inmates more than assured him of the future of cryptocurrency. His jail time can certainly be seen as a punch to roll with, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. Even his blog’s homepage has a link to his blog titled Onward .

My Boxing Ring

The punches being thrown at me are nowhere close to jail-time. Instead of getting beat down by a few hard punches thrown my way, I am using every ounce of my body weight to make sure I throw some punches back. I know, in time, the habits I’ve developed, and the mindset I possess, will land me a knockout punch. I just have to keep rolling with punches as they come, and trying to land my own as I go. Onward.

“Hardwork beats talent when talent fails to work hard.” Tim Notke

This is a phrase that a teammate of mine continually told me when we were using our off days to train for crew. It was the phrase that kept me working hard at rowing even when my body didn’t want to. In sports it’s easier to put in hardwork towards your goal. Working out, eating healthy, getting enough rest, studying the game, and practicing fundamentals all lead to your eventual success. In life, and especially corporate environments, it’s hard to work hard on the pieces that’ll make you successful.

A Job is a Job

Some people have found their passion, they know what they want to do, they’ve created a roadmap to get their, and they are working hard everyday to achieve their vision of success.

However, for a majority of people the path is less clear. Maybe we landed an awesome corporate job for a large company. Although we can work hard at this job, and take pride in our work, it may not be the hardwork that leads to our success. This work is doing something for someone else with our end goal a paycheck. Yes, we can learn a lot of lessons from our higher-ups, but not every job is in-line with our visions of success. How do we work hard on our vision of success while we are working hard on someone else’s vision?

I am Unsure

The question of working hard on our own vision of success while working for someone else has always been a difficult question. I have a hardwork mentality. Put anything in front of me and I’ll work really hard. I collect my paycheck, pay my bills, travel a little bit, enjoy time with friends, and am happy with life. But that’s not my vision of success.

My current passion is in creating something for people that helps them achieve their goals. How do I put 40-50 hours a week for an employer and then go put hardwork into my own goals? It’d be ideal to find an employer, willing to hire me, with the same end goal and passions, but that’s not the easiest to find.

I have no idea how to answer my question. But with a clear-head, an able-body, and a willingness to find out, I am working towards my own answer. Each day is a test of mental fortitude to not only work hard for my employer but also work hard for me. Hardwork beats talent when I work hard.

A few summers ago I could be found on my friends back porch, alone after everyone had gone to sleep, drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels, listening to bluegrass with tears trickling down my cheek. I was depressed. I am not sure if I knew I was depressed at the time, but looking back at it, that’s the only explanation. I had lost my way, and didn’t know my path forward. Instead of coming up with solutions, I decided to drink. It was a downward spiral that I knew wasn’t okay, but I continued to do it anyway. And then I left it all behind.

First Step in my Journey

My first step towards self-belief was my trip across the country. I visited Austin, Denver, San Diego, Portland and Seattle, and I said good riddance to the life I had been living in Northern Virginia. On this trip I was mostly on my own. Although not a foreign country, it’s still hard to find “your place” in other cities. Developing rapport with people on my trip was essential to my experience, and my development of self-belief.

Talking to others, and having engaging conversation, isn’t always easy. Especially when you aren’t glowing with confidence. Being able to step out of my comfort zone to talk with random people was a definite step forward. Although I’m still an introvert, I developed self-belief in my ability to hold a conversation with someone.

Traveling away from the place I had grown accustomed to, and which drove me to alcohol consumption, was a huge turning point in my life.

Teaching Myself

Once I was settled in Denver I was still not much better. I had a bit more confidence because of my travels, but running from my problems was not enough. I still had some bouts with alcohol, and had a few less-than-great experiences. After my first Denver job fizzled I reached a turning point. I started to think, to read, to look for cool things happening in the world. I developed good habits, habits unattainable via alcohol, and I turned my mind into a wonderland. Building castles in the sky.

Somewhere on the journey, I can’t pinpoint where, I taught myself how to have self-belief in my abilities, and the person I wanted to become. It was a combination of many things happening in my life, but however the puzzle was put together, I am grateful it did.

Self-Belief Mindset

When I talk about self-belief I am talking about believing you are capable, and confident enough, to dream and accomplish those dreams. For the 24-year old me who was drinking Jack while crying, I didn’t even have dreams. Now, I have a whole bunch. I dream of projects I want to create, businesses I want to build, and the person I want to become. But it all starts with the person I am.

The person I am today is very confident in my own abilities. I believe I can do anything I put my mind to. Gaining control of my mind, for good (not drunkenness), has been so beneficial in me creating my self-belief and confidence.

I received an email yesterday with a sneak peak into Tim Ferriss’s new book Tools of Titans. This is part of what Tim hopes to convey in his book:

 The superheroes you have in your mind (idols, icons, titans, billionaires, etc.) are nearly all walking flaws who’ve maximized 1 or 2 strengths. Humans are imperfect creatures. You don’t “succeed” because you have no weaknesses; you succeed because you find your unique strengths and focus on developing habits around them. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. The heroes in this book are no different. Everyone struggles. Take solace in that.

This quote really hit home for me.

Greats Have Problems Too

One of my major problems in young adulthood has been trying to live the life society deems right. From early childhood we’ve been inundated with princes and princesses, Barbies and Kens, nice cars, big houses, a loving family, and a stable job. Once I graduated college I was opened up to this world. People worked their butts off to support their family, their nice cars, and their big houses. And work became their life. It consumed their well-being. A couple of years around these people had me questioning the basis of “life goals.”

The mindset, of me having a problem with this lifestyle, was in direct contradiction with everything I had ever been taught, and what everyone around me seemingly wanted for themselves. I started looking in the mirror thinking I was the problem. My problem was that I  did not fit in with society, where everyone else seemed to have found their place. I thought I was the loser and everyone else were the winners. I was wrong.

Even the most successful people in the world have their problems. Tim Ferris’s quote puts that plain and clear. That doesn’t mean the greats dwell on their problems. No, they find their problems and then do the opposite. Instead of trying to fulfill themselves by vanquishing their problems, they focus on their strengths. What they’re good at is what propels them forward.

Everyone is Fighting a Battle You Know Nothing About

No matter who you are around each person you come across is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Whether it’s a successful millionaire, the janitor of your halls, or your middle school teacher. We all have problems. I have problems too. We aren’t perfect, we’re human.

It’s impossible to eliminate all of our problems and it’s impossible to know all of the problems others have. What we can do is treat everyone with respect. No matter what problem someone is having, treating someone poorly isn’t going to help. In the end, we’re all in this together, and trying to battle for another day.

 

Anyone who’s gone through grade school has had to do some sort of research project. Be it a science experiment with a hypothesis and eventual conclusion, an essay about a book, or researching a topic based on the teacher’s guidelines. When tackling any of these projects we start by looking into possible answers, apply them, and come to a solution.

Paper Grading

In grade school we do this research for a grade. For most of us we probably don’t remember 99% of the papers and science experiments concluded. We might remember the grade we received in a certain subject, but nothing more. That’s where entrepreneurship differs.

Hypothesis, Apply, Fail, Hypothesize Again

Entrepreneurship is about coming up with a hypothesis, applying the framework the entrepreneur believes to arrive at the solution, probably failing, and using the failure feedback to develop a new hypothesis. It’s no wonder so many startups/small businesses fail. They were designed to.

The people who are great at entrepreneurship are the ones who understand this concept. Failure isn’t something to pout about, failure is an opportunity to learn.

My Fears

I think the hardest part for an aspiring entrepreneur is dealing with failure. For me, it’s getting started. I want to be entrepreneur. I want to learn the struggle of self-employment and the many lessons to be learned from a research project and testing hypotheses. But getting started is hard.

It’s hard to find that first client. It’s hard to develop skills if you don’t know whether or not they’ll be needed. That’s why I’m making 60 and 90-day plans to help alleviate the fear. I’m also not putting my eggs in one basket. I am trying a few approaches, while finding steady income to keep me afloat. If I try my hypotheses for the next 3 months and fail I at least have a path forward. Here’s to the next 90 days!

In my moleskin is an outline of how to start my business. I wrote my plan in a coffeeshop during my unemployment last year. It started with finding a job that paid $15/hr that I could work 30 hours a week while launching my business. At the time it seemed unreasonable. Like a dream I would never create. Instead I took a staff accounting job, which I have since quit.

What Was Lacking?

I had desire, I wanted to build something for myself. But I lacked faith in myself and my dreams. Sometimes our biggest obstacle is developing faith in our desires. The path isn’t laid out. Some professions are perfectly laid out. Check this box, get this promotion, climb this ladder, appease that boss, and bingo, you’ve arrived at the top of the profession. Those professions are getting fewer and, for me, are far from invigorating.

Without the typical trajectory grade school to college to nice job, it’s easy to lack faith in our abilities. We were molded to live in a society based on rules and following principles. That’s changing. In order to lead a millennial-fulfilling lifestyle we don’t want to report to bosses and play by their rules. We want to make up our own rules and do things better. The hardest part, at least for me, is finding faith in our abilities to make our own rules.

How I’ve Developed Faith

I have developed faith in myself by putting myself in different, and difficult, positions. It’s easy to stay in your hometown, or your college city, it’s easy to stay at your first job, and it’s easy to stay at higher paying jobs. And I am not bashing any of those decisions. If you’re happy, truly happy, don’t change something that ain’t broke. But a lot of people aren’t happy.

If you aren’t happy in your current situation try building faith in yourself. Put yourself in a situation where you have to make decisions for yourself. Where the only person that matters is you, your happiness, your livelihood, and your way forward. Investing in yourself, through big decisions, helps immensely in personal faith.

 

Applying stock portfolio strategy to the lessons of being a young adult.

My favorite investments book is titled A Random Walk Down Wall Street by Burton G Malkiel. In it, Malkiel likens stock investments to taking a random walk. Basically stating that a monkey, throwing darts at stock symbols, can do better than “experts” at building a stock portfolio in the long-run. He then goes into detail of how to diversify your portfolio to best even the monkeys. This same principle can be applied to being a young adult.

Random (or Not So Random) Stumble

In life you will always face the temptation to listen to the experts. These “experts” come in the form of parents, friends, relatives, co-workers, employers, or anyone else giving life advice. We need to know better. Although they’ve lived life, much like investment brokers live the stock market, they don’t know what we’re going through. People on the outside don’t know the best long-term results or the future we’re mapping out for ourselves. Instead, we need to focus on diversification.

Diversifying Our Personal Portfolio

In A Random Walk Down Wall Street, Malkiel gives a detailed breakdown of where we should invest our money. Giving percentages to put into gas stocks, international commodities, gold, and so on. However, there isn’t a diversification blue print for young adults. The best portfolio diversity we are offered is trying new things. And guess what, as young adults we are the most able to try new things. The one advantage young adults have over everyone else in the labor market is time. We have time to stumble, fall flat on our faces, buck parent’s advice, and build our own portfolios.

Time is on Our Side

Our long-term goals are far away. Things that are far away are difficult to achieve because we don’t know what might be three-steps in front of us. What we do know is the step we can take tomorrow, and the lessons we can learn from that step. Time allows us to diversify our portfolio and re-calculate where needed. When we don’t achieve what we were expecting we have time to correct course and point our compass north again.

We must use this advantage to help us achieve far off successes. Even if we are stumbling today, we can use that stumble to make the best of our current situation. A random stumble may seem foolish, but even a monkey can do it.