Fool Me Twice: Public Accounting Edition

Fooled Once

I was a naive college student graduating in the post-Great Recession job market who thought landing any job was the goal and landing one that was applicable to my degree was a success. “Lucky” for me I was able to snag an internship at a top-15 public accounting firm. Unlike some of my peers who weren’t sure if they were going to go onto graduate school, extend their undergraduate education, or work at a job far-below the degree they had earned, I was going to use my accounting degree in the “real world” as a public accountant.

The internship went well. I learned about accounting, met a lot of people, and got offered a full-time position. The first six months flew by and before I knew it was busy season.

Although I had heard horror stories about busy season, I was excited. It seemed fun to work hard, build camaraderie with co-workers while “burning the midnight oil”, and all while having the limited responsibilities of a first-year associate. I had a nice routine. Went to the gym at 6 am before work, got into the office, chatted with a couple of co-workers, then put in an 11 hour workday. I remember thinking “Busy season isn’t so bad”.

The first warning signs… Now the warning signs are clear but back then I thought I was the crazy one, the one who wasn’t quite like everyone else.

Summers in public accounting are BORING. Everyone is burnt-out for April and May. Then partners, managers, associates start using vacation days in June and July. Projects sit until the manager gets back. By the time they’ve returned the projects have been forgotten by both yourself and your manager. Suddenly, it’s mid-August and shit’s about to hit the fan. The work that was put off all summer is finally due. Here come the HR emails demanding 55 hour work weeks, vacation freezes, and Saturday’s in the office.

After a summer escaping from work with Thursday night’s out, crazy Saturday nights, and Sunday brunches, I had to rev my engine back to 100 mph. Since poor habits had been developed all summer, my body no longer craved exercise as an escape, but fireball shots. I managed to get through second busy season. And went right back to coasting…

Remember those bad habits? Well they now controlled my life. And as a second-year associate the responsibilities had increased. Instead of 55 hours per week it was closer to 70 and up to 80/85 hours per week right before March and April 15. It was difficult to wake up. My days were spent in the office eating whatever shit food the firm ordered. My diet out the window. My gym membership going unused. And my only free night, Saturday night, I spent getting wasted only to feel the pain come Sunday. Busy season turned into a three-month nightmare.

After putting on 10 pounds, losing time with friends, and going about as a zombie, busy season was finally over. April and May were spent burnt-out. Then the burn-out trickled into June, July, August. In September HR finally noticed (yes, it took them 5 months to determine that I had been slacking all summer) and a three-page write-up of my “infractions” were handed to me. Since I had already been thinking about it, I decided to go to my manager’s office and tell him I was giving two weeks.

I quit. October 15, 2014 was the last day of public accounting for this guy (so I thought…). I was going on a flying cross-country trip, hitting all the cities millennials are attracted to: Austin, TX -> Denver, CO -> San Diego, CA -> Portland, OR -> Seattle, WA. My goal? To find my new home. Washington DC was great but not a sustainable living situation.

Success! After two and a half months traveling, meeting new people, and couch-surfing at friend’s places, I had decided on a new city: Denver, Colorado. Regretfully, my budgeting for the trip went out the window pretty early on. I didn’t realize paying rent in DC while traveling, eating out, and drinking a bit too much craft beer along the way (What? I was in heavenly craft beer cities!), would take such a toll on my modest savings account.

Fooled Twice

Needing money to pay for my travels and the move to Denver, I had been roped into public accounting once again. This time I thought I was getting into a much better situation. Going from a firm of nearly 2,000 people to a firm of 50. Small business was what I wanted to focus on and I had heard that smaller accounting firms acted more like small business partners. Yes, I was hired to prepare tax returns, but I was excited about the opportunity to give small business advice.

The main drawback of a smaller accounting firm quickly became obvious. Upper-management sets the rules and the lower-tier follows, technology hadn’t caught up with the times, and we were forced into inflexible work schedules.

During busy season my sister was visiting from Maine. She had gotten in on a Sunday to stay at my apartment for a couple of weeks. Since I had been working a lot and didn’t have much time for her during the week, I decided the following Saturday we were going to spend the day together. However, it was busy season. I figured I’d go in on Sunday and put in a good day’s work, which I did, I ended up putting in a 13-hour Sunday. Nevertheless, my boss came to my desk Monday morning to tell me how Saturdays are mandatory and not to miss a Saturday again without approval.

Beginning to unravel, again… My fuse was shorter since I’d already been fooled once. After busy season I almost stopped working altogether. My month of May had around 55 charge hours. That means I worked on client stuff for only 55 hours the entire month. Part of it was burnout, part of it was vacation, part of it was impromptu visits from friends, and part of it was I didn’t give a shit. I also wanted to see how management would react.

Well, all of June went by going about my business as usual and my hours were up, not spectacular, but acceptable. At the end of the month my boss called me into his office to discuss my May hours. Exactly what I thought. A talking to, a little pep-talk, and a “please get your hours up”. Only it had been nearly two months, why wasn’t this pointed out within a week? How does someone do close to no work for an entire month and nobody notice until two months later?

Not two weeks removed from this “stern” talking to my boss called me into his office. It was bonus/raise time. My boss started talking about my progress, what he wanted from me in the coming months and years. How he wanted me to start interacting with clients more, to go to networking events. Plus a bonus and raise! A bonus after being scolded about my poor performance. And that’s when it happened.

Carpe Diem

My carpe diem moment happened right then and there. It was natural. It felt right. I had an unexpected confidence, almost swagger, in my voice. I said “Stop right there, I have something to say”. That’s when I told my boss I was quitting. Gave my two weeks. Dropped the mic. I didn’t need a bonus, a raise, or a pat on the back for doing a sub-par job. I knew I wasn’t giving it my all and needed a change.

Life Lessons

Three years in public accounting wasn’t all for not. I learned I really enjoy working with clients, working for small business owners, helping make financial plans, and the feeling of accomplishment after doing a stellar job for somebody. That sense of pride, however, gets slowly sucked out of you by the fakeness of public accounting, by the arbitrary rules that ruin your life, by the zero to 100 back to zero back to 100 momentum killing machine.

I quit. I am not sure what my future will involve but it will not be in public accounting. I am taking time off to clear my head, re-develop good habits, spend time outdoors, travel, and set goals for who I want to become. I am 25. I have so much time to achieve great things. I know I will achieve great things. Why waste my day-to-day activities doing something so far from the ideal? Eventually I will start working again but this time it’ll be on my own terms doing something I WANT to do.

I have been fooled enough.